Humans After All...!

"OKAY DAD!, HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN 22 YEARS..."



For so many years I was curious in finding my father who divorced my mother back in the late 70's

There were three reasons

• I wanted to see again the father that gave me this life and this mind.
• I became a dad myself on December 31st 1993, and
• Wanted to ask him some questions... time hasn't passed in vain.

JUNE 12, 2000

Finally, I met dad after a search online. He was older and as usual a good speaker. In a way he wanted to mend his absence and felt surprisingly like he was an old friend. We had a good moment having a coffee and some doughnuts at a local 'Dunkin'.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

November 16, 2006

This time I was already a father of 2 boys who never knew grandpa. But I was on the process of getting divorced too. Time was running out now. He had Cancer spread through his aorta and already rooted around his lungs...

I told him on the phone that I was going to see him on this date, that I was coming... but this time I will have to take a plane...and the trip would take 7 hours. On the plane I was thinking again how things could've been different and I just looked on that window and the clouds wanted to clear my thoughts and unconsciously was looking for some answers while my eyes were trying to find a recognizable shape

21 YEARS EARLIER...

PARENTS HOUSE

3P.M.

I see myself coming back from school riding my bike. I put it aside and run into the house.

School was getting on my nerves, specially this Math class about 'Sets theory' and those freaking functions... why Y was equal to a certain function of X?

Mom and dad were already on the kitchen and noticed me throwing my books on the living room couch.

Dad came (as clear as today) toward me and asked me, "Oh come on Joey!, don't start again. I think I know what your problem is and you better tell me about it now."

I could not hide my anger and I told him straightforward that I felt useless for math. The hard math that would send you to join the cast from "Lost in space." I was the average 14 years old kid... Who would really care about Algebra and equations? Sponge bob?

"Dad, you know?, this teacher doesn't help us either. He loves to see us like on a 'limbo' and struggling trying to solve these 40 equations. and some functions... and on a weekend is like a death sentence for me and my friends. And I feel like this stupid retard from 'happy days'"

My father sits next to me and after letting myself release my frustration, tells me this: "I think, I will bring in Michael, my friend who studied Mechanical Engineering and lend you a hand. Three weeks ago we were just talking about math and how it can be taught better in today's school system."

My mom approached us also after asking me if I wanted to eat spaghetti and meatballs. "Of course mom, I can make disappear 2 dozens of chicken nuggets in 2 minutes, and those meatballs afterwards!"

THE DAY MY LIFE COMPLETELY CHANGED

My father was right; from the very beginning Michael made Math so easy. He even told me about mnemonics in his own way of talking, sort of too methodical. Geez!

"Brain is barely putting to work just 5 or 10 percent of its capacity Joey, and is up to you how to make it work to your own advantage, and for your own benefit."

I asked him how did he learn all these tricks and he told me that ,"intuition and the desire to learn got him on a higher level."

"I was not as lucky as you Joey. I never had... huh, my own father had to work 2 jobs in order to make ends meet, and I had to learn things on my own."

A YEAR LATER, LIFE CHANGED IT ALL...

My father fell in love with a younger woman, and as simple as these words can be stated, he decided to abandon 3 kids of his own and ventured himself all over again. Thinking he was 22 again.

When I became a father in own right, in my late 20's, I was getting reconnected with him. He was making sense now with simple things. Can you believe it?

I'm not trying to stick for him or making him look like a hero. He was a man and made his mistakes.

I explained this to my wife, about my need of talking to him again. Perhaps about certain changes in me.

BACK TO REALITY...

A fly hostess asked me if I wanted coffee, juice or water. I said, no thanks.They say hell is actually on Earth, and it will hunt you dearly and bring you down to your knees when you less expect it. Coming to the conclusion that life will end any minute and without you being awared.

I finally arrived in town and I was driving this rent-a-car with a GPS and CD player.

Finally drove near the house where he lived. A sudden phone call from someone. This 'private call' flashed on my cell incessantly. I decide to pull over near this Methodist Church and answer the call.

A scream is heard through that call. Is my Dad's wife. "My God, Joey, ohhh my Gooood!" I just scream back to her. "Yes, lady what's the matter? Everything alright?.." A pause and her breathing comes back on the phone. "For god's sake woman! What are you trying to tell me? "

"Your Dad.... my Husband, died in my arms ten minutes ago!!"

I began to cry as a child and a nearby person who noticed me, asked me the reason of my sorrow. "Walnut road, yeah! is four blocks away from here Sir!"

He took me right away to his address. It was too late. Dad was consumed by this Cancer that spread from his aorta through his lungs. I find out later that his lungs just collapsed and... was the time for him to leave. He never told me about the seriousness of the illness because he didn't want me to worry.

And yes!, he did not have time to say goodbye! The Casket was there...his nostrils were already filled with this gauge...and he was sleeping already... Forever.