When and How Do You Deal With Someone Who Blames Everything On You --
First of all, you are facing a mental abuse from a negative person, and that is not good at all.
Let's see why they are out there to cause harm to you, and society.
Irresponsibility from birth
They deny everything that could affect their integrity and the little self confidence they could have. Sorry to tell you. but these people were not raised in a good environment. Parents were not there to correct their actions. Sometimes is inherited... and unfortunately is a sad truth.
They get that thrill...
By arguing. They need to release certain toxins by blaming things on you and keep the circle of arguments 'alive and kicking.' These human beings are not mentally healthy anymore. They do not trust and cannot be trusted.
Insecurity
These partners are insecure beyond normalcy. For instance, if you made a whimsical wrong move, they would ask you why you didn't tell; or if you just happened to make a phone call, that in their minds, you just were not supposed to, get ready to be confronted . You did disrupt that harmony in 'their own terms.' Actually, by picturing these people, we feel like leaving their surroundings, and we already feel for you.
Controlling people
This is just an addendum to what we said. They need to be in charge, and if they are your spouse... you might be sticking around out of love or financial instability. Usually both are enough reasons to hold on to that relationship, but how to love for real a controlling person... , when we were taught to love and be loved?
HOW TO DEAL WITH THEM...?
You can start by :
- Showing concern. Keep dropping the ball of positivism
- Letting them know you are being hurt.
- Ask them to be honest with you: Is there another person in the picture?
- Take you both from monotony, and take a break from the same old, same old...
- If nothing works between you, look for counseling. A third party can find and dig deeper
- If still doesn't work, get ready to move on
- If it was a chemical unbalance issue, seek therapy. Still, you will have to be committed more than ever.
Hopefully you will be able to see the problem on a wider scope, that we know for sure, will be solved by both parties. If you are the one who is getting the blame, you will have to deal with guilt and probably lower self esteem. If you want to save your relationship, look for help in all the areas available today. Good luck!
- The Psychology Of The Cheating Kind.
A thorough study into the mind of a cheater. Bonus: Technology and the cheating kind. The evolution of the Cyber-sapiens.