Inside a Mother's Mind-- Short Story From the Heart

MONESSEN, PENNSYLVANIA

45 MILES FROM PITTSBURGH

THE PRESENT

4 P.M.

A woman in her late sixties, gets off from her Cherokee 1998, 4WD. She grabs some groceries from the back of her car. Her breathing denotes her stress and fatigue.

She manages to open her front porch fence latch, and feels a puppy's wagging tail who is double checking for his own food. He surely welcomes her with his special 'moaning.'

Behind him comes a girl who happens to be her granddaughter Mary. "Grandma!! you are back!"

The dogie was kinda of nervous, like he did something bad, but could not..or was not able to tell.

"I have been working almost my entire life at a steel mill in this area (my hometown in Western Pennsylvania). My husband passed away 3 years ago and Mr. Loneliness is just a friend that have been coming around more often and... this might sound ridiculous, but I didn't even realize at times, he is actually here. My Kids already in their forties have made their own life and I don't blame them. Life in here went down the drain, after Vietnam, Super-mega Stores and that net! Good grief!

Besides Mr Loneliness I have this puppy next to me. My loyal companion and guardian. His name? Winston. He is a medium size white Scottish terrier, who wouldn't even harm a doll. I Just came back from seeing my specialist and seems that I... whew! I fear for my life. Hard to come up with the words... Even the cashier at 'Family dollar' asked me if something was wrong. I was worried for...I'd never expected this time would come so fast!"

THE LIVING ROOM

6 P.M.

"I'm sitting here next to Mary now, my sweet granddaughter, who is typing at will. What can I say, my life was just average and not much fun. No! not like Betty White! Just a golden girl in the prime of her youth.

As a matter of fact, In my young years I made men turn heads. Tell me about it! Huh-huh! My blond hair and my more than average 'derriere' made the rest. I think, I'm making my point, right Mary?

Funny how men can go nuts for simple 'things.' There we go! Winston came to sit under our computer desk and, as normal routine, he looks for my feet as he lays down, and looks for the right angle for his neck... oh!, spoiled precious thing. There you go little king of your own realm!

My husband used to make excellent breakfasts. Oh great Scott! those french toasts and omelets were his specialty. We used to enjoy our trips to Conney Island and Atlantic City... let me take some air Mary!

Done! Actually he proposed to me in Conney Island on the Fourth of July of 1951. He knew I was not a whore by wearing that decent Bikini. By Christmas we were already married, since my heart told me that he was the one!. On the fourth day, I told him, 'how many days of boyfriend and girlfriend life are we already living?' He said, as clear as today: 'Boyfriend? I didn't even know it!'

We moved back west to My Hometown in order to take care of my mother who never quit smoking when my Dad went to that war with this Adolph Hitler. God! what's wrong with me? My fingers are so stiff now. Those winters took their toll long time ago. Washing machines were a luxury back then. RCA and DeSoto cars were the rage... I need a glass of water Mary... would you be so kind as to, please?

Every now and then I go to Atlantic City and enjoy my stay at the Casino or pretend to be the Donald's cousin, just to grab mentally my riches; love those slot machines at the Tropicana.

Here is something I want to share, is so personal but... when I walk on the Boardwalk at sunset... is, huh, when I remember my Alfred the most. I start kicking the sand with no purpose at all. That stupid seagull winked its eyes at me, as clear as now...might be a male!

We used to enjoy our picnics on the sand and... hold on Mary... oh Gos! Was just my head; actually he made me ride that bike on the wet sand when we were dating.

Cocoa, our dog back then, would chase away these flock of seagulls and come back to us like a hero!

This strong man, 'hubby with his clubby', took care of me and my frugal life. We had three Kids: Kim, George and Michelle. I don't... I've never ever had problems with them and...I'm thirsty Mary! They became professionals in their own right.

Actually Kim had 3 beautiful girls... and one of them, Mary as I told ya!, has been typing for me as I go... on my old fashion, pre-cold war way. She even pauses and writes every little swing mood and move I make... and it seems fun.

I'm here with her, making sure she understands who grandma really was. She even smiles and gets closer to give me a hug and a kiss on my wrinkled forehead. My gray thinnest hair thanks her microscopically. How could I explain these miracles... our own feelings? Our tears...

Mary's hair is blond after Kim and I. Thanks for the water Mary! Let's go back to the times when... wait!, Okay I've got it. I forget things more than before: I was wearing long skirts and white socks and my keds shoes. I used to cover my chest and bra with my own books, since God forgot that I really needed bigger 'boobs.'

I wish I was born in Memphis, this way I could've had a better chance to meet Elvis... and that pelvis. He was the one who made my Husband sing. 'Are You Lonesome Tonight?' ... and my answer was, 'of course, silly bones, this time make sure you brought my apple pie, and... if you are a good boy, everything will be alright... What are you laughing at Mary?

My granddaughter cannot stop laughing and I don't blame her. Those were the good all days that will never come back... Unless you can picture it so well in your mind that... you can see yourself being there... like right now! Oh gosh Winston is snoring, and he didn't eat yet!

I touch my face and I try to see what did he really find in me. 'Grandma, you were pretty!. I saw your pics on my mom's Face-book,' answers my 'Mary, Mary' so full of grace!

Maybe she was right. Hold on, I have to take Winston to have his talk with a three around the corner, if you know what I mean...huh?

TEN MINUTES LATER...

I wanted to be a nurse, but my brother was already working at the steel mill for six years and got me first in line to be hired, and I became a TIG welder after some courses in TIG and MIG. I was paid good, and it was a hands-on trade. My Albert became a teacher and retired in 1995.

His farewell gift was this Motorola cellphone, that was close to a cordless phone home. He tried to get himself used to it, but stuck with his beeper. What I wanted my Mary to know was that, no matter what it is... or what your goals in life are, you have to give your 110% in order to achieve a successful existence. And where the 10% comes from? From the trust, believe and faith in yourself.

Talking about faith. You cannot leave God aside. I know, I know... We were young and thought we were gonna live forever. But the signs were there. My own kids, my own life as a mother and ...having Albert in my life.

Little Mary, come closer to me please! Can you see my face? Do you realize that... by just having these two eyes, we know that there is a Creator?? They will try to put him down, but he is up, down and among us. "For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them."

Who made me a Mother? Life and God. All the blessings were poured on us by the Mother of Jesus and we learned as we went. Every now and then Albert would get his 'squirting' share after changing diapers. Yeah Mary I know.. ew!! But love... real love kept us together. Now, yesterday I had my Colonoscopy done and it was at times, gee! painful. I really felt bad.

My Gastro-enterologist told me that my last biopsy was not giving good signs. Some polyps were not receding and chemotherapy was an immediate follow-up procedure... and... Please Mary, stop it! This Is just life, you know sweetie?

My Albert left ahead of me and he will be glad to see me again. if I ever have to depart, but enough please!!. I just pray to God to give me time to get my things in order... you see? I'm crying too.

Winston is still six years old. My grand-kids deserve the best, and, and.. I will try to help them with their scholarships, courtesy of my stupid IRA account. Listen Mary, your grandma loves you so much and I... wait for a miracle to happen. I have faith and the strength to keep it going. I value every second next to you now! How paradoxical right?

These words will stay, and I'm glad I did this kind of 'confession' of my own. It soothes my soul, and I think I will find better rest at nights. And my last night will be as restful a tonight.

Come with me little thing. I will give you something. Come to my bedroom. Just bear with me. See this shoe box? just open it. Is a little Bible that my own Mother Maxine gave it to me long time ago. Open at any page you want. Let me read it: "The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.” (Luke 18;27).

Wonderful! He knew what I wanted to hear. The word was fed and deliverance was always ready for us to recieve. I want you to keep it and treasure it. And please go blow your nose and come back. We cannot be crying like two silly girls!

You just reminded me of your own mother when she lost her own cockier spaniel...! They will never change. Just as sentimental as grandma Lorraine!

My back is sore and I need to rest. I'm in peace and I know God was here, and he will be there for me... at the gates of heaven.

A CAR OUT THERE APPROACHES...

A car? Who is this? Oh, is my daughter Kim, with some papers. 'Mother for god's sake, I was trying to call your phone.....look at this! I was right. The jack got busted. Probably Winston did it accidentally.' I asked her why she wanted to get in touch with me?

'Doctor Mac Milan said that your colonoscopy results improved from what we saw two weeks ago . He cannot stop believing; in fact, he just called it one of those miracle cases in a million. Another incredible miracle with no scientific explanation!, and he wanted to see you next Monday for a re-evaluation.'

My Goodness gracious! Did he really answer my prayers? Oh Lord, my Lord! You are really out there... and send your angels to watch over your children!

My daughter and Mary saw a shining 'aura' around me. At first they were afraid to touch me, but after crying with me, they knew I was given a second chance, for the sake of...(tears) my family. Daughter Kim and sweet Mary, came closer and embraced me with joy and gratitude!

A thankful heart, is here to kneel down and pray again for the extra time you just have given me... my sweet creator, amen!