When Your Wife, or Partner Tells You: Not Tonight Fred!

Sometimes we want to know if we guys are going to get "our" part of the agreement and be able to take justice in our own hands. This is a direct response to Josh and his fun hubs. We work on a variety of subjects and let's see how are going to end this hub.

Supposedly, you are worried because, lately you have been taking cold showers and not getting enough of those vitamins or proteins. Your dog is mad at you because... you forgot to take him out to answer to that nature's call. Here are some signs that might help you decode your partner's mood.

• She joined HP three months ago and.. caught up with our addiction. Say what?
• She is on those days...She forgot to tell ya..!
• She forgot to do her nails this morning. Tomorrow she might forget her pedicure
• You answered to her with a natural, "Not now! I don't have time for this S***!" when she asked you to check a recipe from your colleague hubbers at HP.
• Simply forgot your Anniversary. I use a magic marker and go to that freaking calendar in advance!!
• She saw too many news about date rape pills, or a serial killer not being caught yet.
• She wanted to go out and buy you a cologne. and you told her, "I'm just fine."
• When she caught you cheating and... claimed and swore that it wasn't your fault. At least it was the same woman and not a new one!!
• She just found out your sign doesn't match hers! Duh!
• Is the third time you do not put down that toilet seat.
• Your socks are so mismatched that she frowns upon, and 'something' clicks in her mind.
• You stepped on her 'legally blonde' puppy this morning.

• The night before you didn't perform well on that Nascar Racing Championship. You got stuck on drive!
• When she told you, "I'm fine!" And you didn't respond with a big hug, and never read our hubs on relationships!
• When your dog got a colorful toy from under your bed... and started vibrating!!
• When you wanted to try something new like on T.V., and she said: no way!
• When she started feeling insecure about her boobs
• When she starts telling you that she looks ugly in the mornings
• When she thinks her cellulite is already showing up right behind her knee.
• When you woke up and changed her real name...and last name!
• When she wanted to try a new overnight anti-wrinkling mascara like on Oprah's O.W.N.
• When she caught you reading us and... she started laughing like a nutty. "Sucker! You can read Lord, and not my gals!!"