What Does He Really Want From Me?

This is the story of Jenny, a typical 24 year old graduate from Lehigh University in Bethlehem Pennsylvania. The regular girl next door. A cheerleader in her prime...

She shared her experiences with me and told me how hard was to commit with a guy nowadays. She graduated with a PhD in Economics and has a decent job in Manhattan. Her parents gave her the best education she could ever wished. Well, that's what we thought!

The thing was, she was the only child her the family, and missed the company of a brother or a sister. Her Halloween nights were boring and on Christmas always had to visit her uncles and her cousins... But she was always missing something.

Here is the story: She dated 4 guys in six months and broke up as soon as they wanted to have sex or were getting too pushy or even violent in the relationship.

"These guys today, all they want is to get in your pants and treat you like garbage and move on. What's wrong with these guys?" she said.

I asked her why 4 guys in six months? "I have a decent job making 68 grand a year. My apartment in Jersey city is half way paid off and... I think is time to get settle with 'Mister right', don't you think so?"

I told her that unfortunately quality of men has gone down the drain and what they really want is a "quick fix", and the hunt for an honest guy is not only hers. By the time she reaches 30, probably she will have met a dozen more. Talking about cheaper by the dozen?

"What do you advice me then?' she said. I tried to tell her that, humm, honestly if the guy is not worth even the try, she should focus on her own self. "But I have my own needs, you know? This is ridiculous. How can they say...Why do they think of us as whores, when we tell them the truth?" funny but she was raising her voice and her eyes were looking for answers...

I tried to be impartial, since I'm a guy too, and explained to her that every generation carries a hidden load of diminished quality. Since I'm a history buff, I told her that part of the problem started after all these wars, starting from World war II, passing through Korea, Vietnam and lately the Persian Gulf. Society itself has forgotten about this real love 'thing' that women look for and unfortunately I don't see a way out unless we change as society.

"You are scaring me now. No wonder Barry was such an asshole. I wanted to walk through the Mall and probably get that quality time in knowing him. All he was worried was about his cellphone and his own time. When he kissed me behind this Stand filled with perfumes, at the mall, he asked me to go to a Motel and I said no!.

You know what was his answer?" she looked at me almost in tears. Unconsciously she grabbed my hands as support

"He got mad and told me that he didn't want to waste his time with 'puritan Mary'". I was feeling for her and...gosh!, tried again to... listen to her words. "Andrew was more polite, but there was something really strange in his behaviour; he always wanted to use my perfume and was a good critic about colors from my undies. Was that a fetish? On the third week, I caught a text message from his friend called Larry who wrote this, 'I will date you back again. Was a mistake to go back to my ex wife. Love ya!'"

I was getting sick as she continued. How could this be? I mean she was not bad looking. Her body was in good shape. She had it all, except a man. I was trying to come up with some answers and she was waiting for a good one.

"Neil was a fitness trainer and we did click it from the beginning. He was charming and a real gentleman, but the problem was his ego and alcoholic problems transformed his whole personality" I told her that there had to be a reason for all that and she said right away that, "His dad was in Vietnam in his youth and when he was born in 1980. His dad was already having issues with alcohol"

The more she was telling me. the more I was feeling for her. All was getting to a point that, she just wanted to cry on my shoulder. We were having this conversation at a 'Starbucks' Cafe in Downtown Manhattan. We met by chance. Actually I poured some of my coffee on her dress and I offered to buy her another cup of coffee. "Are you a Psychologist," she asked. "No, I'm a freelance writer and my regular job has to deal with the printing Industry."

"But how come you are like... a good listener?" I told her that it was the way I was raised. My mother was a single mom, and probably was keen to listen to women with certain respect.

"You don't even push it, like these stupid losers. I mean, it feels like I already know you, " she said as she finished her last sip.

" Nicola was this Art Designer from Eastern Europe. His blue eyes were stunning but, he also had a girlfriend with 1 baby in Budapest and eventually told me that he was hanging on to me for a green card. There we go again, I said! What a bad luck; going from bad to worst! He even showed me his baby's pics, thinking I was gonna feel sorry for him and help him out. I had to change my number and close my gmail account. Actually," she said worried, "I had to change jobs because he was becoming an stalker and wouldn't leave me alone. You see now what women have to go through?"

Her eyes were tired, and I wanted to say something but I just kept my kool. "So why are you still single?" I said that after a divorce, I was not really ready to look for a serious relationship. "So, you just want sex like the others, huh" I said that I was going with the flow and work and writing was taking my time. Sex was a secondary thing for me. "You are such a liar! Oh my god! Then you are gay, tell me the true!" She made me laugh, and I told her that 'I was not!', over and over... Then she made this lady Ga-ga move on me to make me laugh. Her poker face was hilarious, but now she was becoming the hunter. Was I wrong?

"Josh was my last date, he had it all. He was a Mechanical Engineer with a masters degree from NJIT. all was cool and getting to the point that I really wanted to marry him. Sexually he was my type. Strong hands, soft talking. He drove me nuts. But here we go again... He was married!, and never told his wife about us. Of course not, she would've dumped him right away. He just... he was just another player and took me on that ride for 6 weeks."

She was searching in my eyes for an answer and suddenly saw myself a tear going down her face. She excused herself and headed for the bathroom for 2 minutes. When she came back, she told me that she was ready to leave and, "was nice meeting me."

I was wrong right? She was kind of upset, but a little relieved. "I want to thank you for listening to my messed up life. You were kind enough to take your time to listen to my shit. I need to take care of myself and then take care of the world." I apologized for any misunderstanding or bad feelings.... well she never let me finish; she just walked out and didn't want to show me her crying. Damn! What was wrong with me?

She was crossing the street and without knowing it... yep! She was about to get hit by a Taxi driver. I ran out of the Starbucks... and pushed her to the other side of the road. Barely I missed the front end of that yellow monster, saving her life and her nice... smile. She was in shock and thanked me for my action. Shaking and in tears..she wanted to hug me, but she refrained for a moment...is a slow motion of exchange of.feelings we felt some empathy.

Her tears were giving me that sign... and I cleaned those tear drops with my own fingers.

All I said was, "you want to go out again? Don't you want...? You know...I feel sorry..never mind. Do you want to go out again?" That was it. She composed herself and certainly agreed; her smile was charming and cute!. Her eyes sparkled an awesome view for me to see. Didn't understand why she was looking at me that way... !